Relationships Are More Than Just Dating
Relationships require strenuous and constant work. The amount of concentration needed to keep a long-term relationship successfully afloat is not unlike that required for a balancing act, and often times that’s just what it feels like: balancing carefully on okay.
My husband and I have these little fights from time to time over events or plans that he swears he’s told me about, but I swear I don’t remember ever having that conversation. He says that I constantly compare a male friend of mine to characters in movies or shows, when I can specifically remember doing so approximately twice only, and only to say “That guy looks just like ______, doesn’t he?”. His reaction is as though I’m obviously thinking about the guy all the time. There are admittedly old flames that flitter in and out of my thoughts from time to time, but this guy gets about as much attention in my thoughts as old teachers and classmates. He is so deep in the “friend zone”, in fact, that for him to rise above the ranks of his fellow friends he’d have to morph into a completely different person and launch something like an escape from prison. But the jealousy over the friend isn’t my point really. My point is: If he continuously tells me I’m doing/saying/thinking things that I’m not, is it me who’s wrong? Is it possible that I just don’t realize these things are slipping past my foremost sense of consciousness somehow? I’ve been weighing this question heavily lately as more and more of these kinds of arguments seem to be cropping up. I feel as though I know myself, thoughts and actions included, pretty well but I can’t help but wondering if he’s right after so many instances. I certainly don’t intend to hurt my husband, and I feel that inadvertently that’s just what I’m doing without even realizing it. In answer to these considerations I’ve been making extra effort to listen closely when he speaks and be more considerate all the way around. I can’t help but feel (and excuse the language but I’m at a loss for a better way to put it) a little mind-fucked over the whole thing. Am I missing chunks of my actions and personality, as though I’ve been unconsciously living my life?
Related posts: